New Year, New You!

... Or not.

I have been thinking about New Year's Resolutions and I cannot settle on one that I like enough.

Here has been my list of possibles and reasons why I decided against them:

• Stop being so judgmental. - While this is a good idea, I find it to be a little impossible. I don't know if it's just because I am in a really bad mood today (family drama, got my period unexpectedly, going to school is still a jillion days away), but I find that I judge all the time. I was just looking at pictures of some people from high school, partying and smoking and all I kept thinking was, "Sellout" or "Way to go. Not" or "I am so much better than you" (which is, of course, a terrible thing to think). This would be a nice resolution, but I know I'd break it and then feel guilty.
• Be more honest with people. This one is probably the best one I've come up with, but I worry about hurting people's feelings too much to act on it. Which I hate, especially because the people I need to be honest with the most are people who hurt me the most. And if they hurt me, then I should be able to say something that might hurt them, too. I mean, I wouldn't go into something wanting to be vengeful or hurt someone SOLELY because they hurt me, but it is good to be honest with people and let them know that their behavior or something they did got to you because then you can patch it up. Right now there are three people that come to mind who I need to be honest with and let them know that something they've done hurt my feelings. One of them is someone in my family. One of them is/was (not sure really to define it) a friend at school. The other is a "friend" from high school. All three situations are radically different from one another, but one thing remains the same: I doubt any of these people know how upset/disappointed I am with them. I take the blame for that.
  
• Stop texting (or reduce text messages) to the guy I like. This is another good idea, but one that I don't think I'll be able to keep because I've already tried to do this, but my lack of willpower caused me to fail miserably.
• Reduce texting in general. This might be the most feasible goal, so long as I monitor my messages and say "Is this necessary right now in the middle of class to text Keri and tell her I am bored to tears?" The answer, of course, is "probably not." Okay. Definitely not.
  
• Be timelier about calling people back.
  
• Reduce sweets.
• Walk more.
• Stop being jealous of people.
• Get over the bitterness about having cancer.
• Write. About anything. Anywhere. Whenever. All the time. No excuses.